'Canada 2004'

Here is a map of the crazy 2 week journey we took.

We flew into Calgary and had a couple of days there with Carol's parents, it snowed lots, so it didn't bode well for the holiday ahead of us.

After Calgary we moved onto Banff where we spent 3 days at a top hotel. As you can see on the map that was my first bear sighting.

On our 3rd day, it was time to head to jasper, again, another bear sighting, a momma bear and a baby bear.

Spent 1 night in Jasper and drove off to Edminton, home of the largest mall in the world and a Hooters.

2 days later we headed back to Calgary for a day and a bit then flew to Vancouver for a couple of days.

Finally, we went up to Whistler for the weekend and back down again to head home.

By the end of it all I was totally knackerd, and now looking back, it's was NBL. Click next to see a few choice photos from the trip.

Believe it or not, this is the only photo I got of a bear. Like most UFO or Loch Ness Monster pictures,

you need to look realy hard to see it. Can't see it? then keep going.

Conclusive proof of a black bear. Fortunately I have eagle eyes and spotted it about a mile away.

Unfortunately, my camera is bollocks and took the worst pic possible. I bought some binoculars after the sighting.

These weird bloody things are called 'HooDoos' and are the end result of millions of years of errosion.

This pic was taken on our 1st day to Canada and about -5, great for being out doors in a summer coat cos' someone told me it would be warm there,

how foolish I was, after all, it was Canada we were visiting.

This is a view from our Gondola as we went up a mountain. You can see all the snow about, pretty chilly.

Scary things Gondolas, especially if there are fighter jets flying about.

This may look like some sort of dog poo bin you see at the park, it's actually a bear bin and they are everywhere.

Bears are like your common tramp, they will rummage around in other people's filth looking for a free meal.

So to stop the vagrant bears stealing the tramps rightful leftovers, the Canadians made bear proof bins, very clever.

Here are a couple of Carol's mates. From left to right - Janet and Chantelle. We met in this stinking pub called 'Saddle Back Bills' or somthing,

but they don't believe in using bins and throw all there rubbish on the floor, minkers (Not Janet and Chantelle, the pub).

Everwhere we went, there were lots of animals that are in cartoons. Here's me trying to lure a chipmonk with a stone. Stupid animal!

This photo speaks for itself. Believe it or not, some Canadians don't know what a wanker is. They are missing such a laugh with this sign.

Here is Richard and Janet. We went round to their gaff for a barbi on our last night in Banff. Richard is a god at cooking and rustled up some amazing scran.

Janet owns her own hair salon and gave me some good advice on my barnet. Top guys. Hope to see them in Scotland soon!

On our way up to Jasper, we stop off at a Glacier. It was pretty big, you can see me waving from about a 20th of the way up it.

Apparently we were not supposed to walk on it unattended, as there were hidden cracks and crevasses all over the place.

After all, 5 people have died in the past 10 years from hyperthermia after falling down into one of those buggers.

This is us in a pub in Edmonton. From left to right - Me, Deetmar (can't spell his name) Vanessa, Bonnie, Bonnie's bloke and Carol.

This night was the most hammered I got on our trip. NBL.

At the Edmonton Mall, they have a Hooters. For those uneducated, Hooters is a bar that employs ropy women with huge norks to sell pints.

Carol was strangely keen to have a photo of me and a Hooters barmaid, as you can see, I'm not that bothered about it.

Here is an example of the roads you get in Canada. Long long and very very straight.

You need a PS2 in your motor to survive on these monsters!

All over the great plains you see these, Nodding Donkeys. I liked them cos' they reminded my of 'Dallas'.

Also in Canada, in the Rockies, are lots and lots of waterfalls. We have about a million photos of these.

This is probaby the best photo I took over there. NBL. It's somewhere in the rockies.

On this day we went looking for Moose. Can you see them? neither did we!

On our way to Vancouver we got a good view of the Rockies.

This is Vancouver, looks a bit like the Costa Del Sol.

Here's Andrew, Carol's Brother, we stayed with him and his misses in Vancouver.

As you can see, he's very much liking his new hat! We hope to see Andrew and Leigh in Scotland at some point.

Carol's dad was kind enough to lend us his jeep to tour around Canada. Look at the wheels, they're Magwheels!

A good thing about Canadians, they are all nuts about hot-tubbing and no it's not some sort of sex thing like dogging.

This is Andrew's tub in his back garden.

I was so chuffed to see a Racoon. Again, this little fella was depicted in a classic cartoon called 'The Racoons' that I used to watch as a kid.

I bought one of this guy's relations in hat form for $20.

In Whistler, Carol and I had to go ATVing. It was a top laugh, apart from the fact the ATV tour guide was treating us like a bunch of kids,

the prick even gave me a row for overtaking Carol cos' she was being a slow bugger. But later on his row didn't seem so silly...

This is what happens if you can't drive your ATV. This idiot in front of us was suppose to drive over a bridge, not off it.

His ATV ended up about 7 or 8 feet over the edge in a river. He was lucky he wasn't killed. Idiot.

Finally, here's a pic of everyone that went up to Whistler. I can't remember everyone's names. This was to celebrate Andew's birthday.

All in all, Canada was no bad loc. I think the next time we go over, we'll spend more time in one place and try and travel less.

As much as I liked Canada, it's not a patch on Scotland, one thing the trip did was reinforce what a great place my home is.

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